Ugh Week 2 of 5 is the worst! Thinking about getting chemo'd again makes me want to barf, of course. Instead of telling you what I think of side effects, I'll direct you to a favorite post from a favorite cancer blog; the post is called Side Effects. The blog is called Butt... It's Cancer.
Over the past few days, knowing I'm in for more of the same as last week has also made me want to cry. Both Joshua and I had surreality moments this weekend. This is happening? You're feeling bad because of chemotherapy?
Wednesday (tomorrow), the chemo again. Thursday I will do my best to sleep all day and eat an apple, maybe. Friday I get to go home after radiation, and then two days of nothing at home. IT SHOULD FEEL BETTER THAN THIS to be at this point. Week 2 is over before we know it. Week 3 marks the halfway point and I love halfway points. I like halfway so much that I mark the halfway point between halfway and complete (at 3/4 done I'm celebrating the half of a half!).
At halfway, you know what you did and you know you just have to do it again. It does not matter that you're tired or that the effects are cumulative or that you're sick of it - after halfway you know what's in your future and you just completed it once, so you know you're capable of getting through it. After halfway, you're on your way back home, instead of still moving farther away.
I usually tell myself that my goal is halfway and then I make it. (Think about it - all of your goals can be only half as far away as you thought!)
The halfway point for radiation treatments is the end of Week 3. But halfway with chemo? Somewhere during Week 3. So close.
Week 2 sucks so much; it's not even halfway and I'm going to be thrilled when it's over.
Hoping for the best, planning for the worst.
I know it's winter but there must be some plants somewhere, snowdrops or scilla or grass, some one in the plant world is lifting her head.
ReplyDeleteAsk a plant, next time you are injured/sick, upset, depressed or needing support in any way. Go into nature/a garden and allow yourself to gravitate toward a plant (tree/bush/flower) that especially attracts you. Greet the plant with reverence as you ask for its support/guidance. Then listen quietly and open to receiving its gifts/messages (you can sit next to it or physically connect with the plant it as you do this). Allow at least 15 minutes to receive . . . when the exchange feels finished, express your love and gratitude before parting.