They say exhaustion and fatigue are the most common "side" effects of both chemo and radiation, and Joshua and I planned to be prepared for that. I never knew what tired was until this. My dad brought a deck of cards to the hospital thinking maybe we'd play and just looking at them gave me the feeling of being overwhelmed by too much to think about. It's a brain tired where there's no room for anything; I haven't been able to do much reading, movie watching, knitting, or anything else that typically works as a leisure activity because just thinking about it makes me tired. Lying in bed, listening to nothing, doing nothing, and thinking about nothing is perfectly satisfying.
This week it's been nice to listen to some music, which was also generally overwhelming over the past few weeks. Some soft quiet music was good, but it didn't take much for me to feel jarred and vibrated in the wrong ways.
I'm coming back. I still feel pooped when I think about thinking, but it's going to get better from here on out.